Before I became a mom, I loved being the first one up in the house (well, I still do, I guess). I’d get a chance to feed the dogs, brew some coffee, read a couple of articles…. I’d have the opportunity motivate myself to take the dogs for a walk — and then do so — catching some girl time with my mom on the way. Typically speaking, my day would start around six. Nowadays though, if I want those few moments to myself, I have to make an effort to take them, waking no later than 4:30 am.
My brother and sister-in-law recently shared that they’re pregnant and I can’t help but remember those quiet days and how naive I was to how abruptly they’d disappear. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly grateful for our beautiful, healthy, curious daughter. But when you’re shocked awake at 5:15 every morning and know that you’ll be up for the day. When you have to set a mental alarm clock for four a.m. wake up to have a few moments to yourself, you wish you would have taken those quiet, long-gone opportunities to start something fulfilling instead of doing the dishes, scrolling through your newsfeed, or otherwise occupying time with menial tasks that could’ve been postponed for a couple of hours or help could have been recruited for.
What do I miss most?
Quiet Coffee
Of the things I miss most, a quiet cup of coffee probably tops the list. Waking up, pouring grounds into a filter bleary-eyed, and patiently waiting for those final sputters from the pot to tell me it’s done brewing. Meanwhile, leisurely feeding the dogs, opening the blinds, and throwing a piece of bread in the toaster were moments much taken advantage of.
I don’t imagine I’ll have them again until baby starts sleeping past 8 AM which is likely nearly a decade away. Sipping while flipping through magazines? The thought alone makes me long for retirement. I would love to look at the latest, popular paint colors and figure out how to redecorate my kitchen on a budget. But there will be no time (or money) for such nonsense anytime in the foreseeable future.
Dog time
I used to think that walking two dogs was stressful. Trying to gather leashes, poop bags, dog biscuits, and put on shoes with them both with them underfoot was a difficult task. Clearly, I had never imagined also trying to prepare for a newborn to join us. Not only do you need all that stuff, but you suddenly need to pack blankets, extra diapers, and an extra change of clothes, too. By the time you’re ready to leave the house, you already feel like you’ve run a marathon. Fortunately, dogs are quick to forgive. Even when you don’t get them adequate exercise, they’re still free for cuddles — assuming you’re able to take advantage of them and you’re not too busy snuggling, chasing, or feeding the new (non-fur) kid.
Exercise
We all know exercise and stretching are incredibly important, but when you become a mom, time is slim and energy is gone. I used to try to get up and do yoga before work — but those days are done — and man, can I tell! I developed a case of plantar fasciitis when my daughter was a few months old and it’s no wonder. One of the things that factor into that new level of exhaustion is the achiness that comes along with constantly being on your feet. When you’re not only up every 2-3 hours in the middle of the night, but balancing work and home (i.e. return home to wash/sanitize pump parts, prep munchkin’s food for the next day, and hopefully manage to feed yourself), your poor feet don’t get a chance to rest. So if you have an understanding spouse (or sitter available), find a Saturday morning yoga class and get in some maintenance work when you can. It’s well worth it.
Writing
I used to take advantage of the quiet mornings to get bills paid, cards written, emails drafted, thoughts down. Now I generally scramble to balance the checkbook halfway through the month and draft any writing through dictation on my phone. On occasion, I‘ve been able to put crayon to paper while my daughter scribbles away on her drawing table, but the days of pens or leisurely typing are generally over.
Running Errands
Bet you never thought you’d miss this! But the satisfaction of making five stops in an hour and getting everything on your list or being able to take a few minutes to peruse the clearance section wasn’t something I’d even considered not being able to do. It’s still possible to do with a newborn, but once they decide that they don’t like being stuck in the car seat, or after they transfer to the convertible, those days are over.
I work four days at my 8-5 and generally try not to make more than one stop on my day off. Carrying a wriggling, fussy extra 25 lbs. around is exhausting (and I have an amazingly well-behaved, tolerant child). And let me reiterate how difficult it is to get out of the house with all that extra stuff: SO DIFFICULT.
So these days my new restful mornings are incredibly rare, start well before 5 a.m., and are definitely not taken for granted. Somedays I dare to imagine what adding a second child would do. I’m guessing I’d just never leave the house.
With that, I’d like to congratulate my brother and sister-in-law on their exciting news. You’re going to be great parents! And butthead, you’d better chip in with diapers and dishes or you’ll be getting some seriously dirty looks and not-so-pleasant thoughts sent your way. Love you both!
Here are some of my favorite pregnancy and baby items!
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