Today the tears came. As my husband closed the door behind him on his way to work, my eyes welled, knowing that in two short weeks he’ll depart with both of my children and I’ll be hours away from seeing them again with nothing to show for the lost time but a meager paycheck and a broken spirit. That my days at home with them that are sometimes so long, will suddenly be stripped short — so short — too short — the-time’s-ticking, there-are-only-two-hours-before-bedtime short.
In two short weeks, the baby that’s just sprouted smiles, whose personality is just budding, and whose head still bobbles will have only his sister present for familiarity as he’s thrown into our new norm without warning. The baby I’m just getting to know will be put in the care of someone he barely knows at all.
In two short weeks, I’ll long for his sweet smile and gentle coos as I sit in a cold, vacant room suctioned to a machine to capture his day’s nourishment. My sanity and sleep will be left diminished each morning, as I feign to care for a career for which I do not.
And so today I grasp desperately at attempts to stay home. I take all the cuddles I can. I wear him close. I skip lunch to stare at his sleeping face and relish in those sweet, gummy smiles.
Today I mourn the moments I’ll miss in two short weeks.
Oh, Melissa! I’m so sorry you have to head back to work and so soon, but it sounds like you are doing the next best thing – snuggling and loving and soaking it all up while you can. Sending big hugs to all of you!!
Thank you, Kate. If you’re available, let’s try to get together again before it’s over.