We’ve all thought about it: that hypothetical letter to your younger self. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could try to nudge that naive young person in the right direction or give them a piece of fruitful advice? I know I’ve thought about it, and if I was going to relay a piece of advice to my younger self it should probably read like this:
There’s gonna be this guy. And then there’s gonna be another one. Stay away from them — both of them — they’ll seriously….
I’m totally kidding (kinda).
In all seriousness though, when my daughter turned one, I had her birthday party attendees write letters to her for her 18th birthday. Part of this was because I knew that several people would no longer be around and I wanted her to know how much they loved her, but another part was because that at 18 (19, 20, 21…) she won’t listen to me if she’s making bad decisions, even if I am able to take a step back from the situation and try to rationally communicate concerns. Some things only life itself can teach. But with these letters, I’m hoping that someone’s sage words will resonate with her or that perhaps an overarching theme will stay in the back of her mind and keep her from making ill-advised decisions as she begins to explore her new found freedoms.
My own late teens and early 20s were full of decisions cloaked in insecurity and curiosity. Of course, these sometimes bad decisions led me to where I am today, so I need to be somewhat thankful for them; fortunately, none of them had too devastating of an impact. But nonetheless, I sometimes wonder what life would be like today if, in those days, I’d listened to my intuition and better judgment or had had the confidence to say no.
So if I could go back and deliver a letter to my younger self, here’s how it’d read:
Hey Chica!
Hooray! Congratulations! You’re done with that totally lame-o high school business and are off to college! I know, I know, it’s not where you wanted to go, but guess what?! It’s a great school and you’ll have plenty of fun and it’ll still provide the college experience you’re looking for over the next year. The new atmosphere and independence will give you a chance to establish some new study habits and to explore new subjects. (And whether you want to believe it or not, you’re going to change your major a half dozen times.)
I don’t have much to say on the academic side of college; you’ll do just fine if you put your mind to it, so don’t sweat. The only thing I really want to emphasize is this: STUDY ABROAD. Give any money you save for it to Mom and Dad to stash and brace yourself to move back in with them when you return (I know, I know). If you don’t, that meager sum will go up in smoke and you’ll regret not going for the rest of your life. You want to teach your kids a second language, right? College French won’t do it. Go. Be fluent. Do it for them. Besides, croissants are delicious and reason enough to travel back.
Alright: Guys. I’d tell you not to waste your time, but I know that ain’t happening, so, for the love of Pete, girl, don’t go for the first, fifth, or twentieth one. There are plenty to choose from, so learn to say “no,” “I’m not interested,” and “it’s time to move on.” Listen to your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, GET RID OF HIM. And don’t procrastinate on it. Like the song says, “breaking up is hard to do,” and the sooner you get used to doing it, the easier it’ll get (and the happier you’ll be). You’ll marry an upstanding guy, so get the wrong ones out of the way.
Lastly, don’t stop writing. Start that blog and keep the content rolling. Maybe someday it’ll turn into something. And while we’re talking technology. Tell Mom and Dad to invest in MacIntosh. If they do, they won’t have to worry about retirement (and you may not have to either). 🙂
Take care, study hard, and next time you see her, give Holly a big hug for me. (She’s still your best girl.)
Love,
Melissa, Mama-Sized
Oh wow that is such a beautiful idea, I love that and don’t worry no matter what or how many times we say we “hate” our parents deep down we love them to bits. So never forget or think otherwise! Loved reading this x
I’m so glad you started this blog! I love
this letter and I think yours is filled with such good advice. I was JUST talking to my mom about how one thing I wish I had done differently was to save up to study abroad when I was in college.
Where would you have gone?
I really wanted to go to Ireland.
This post really made me smile. It’s so interesting to think about what you’d write back to your younger self and there are parts in your piece that are so relatable to me in one way or another. I love the part where you talk about how you’re married now, this will resonate with so many young people and is something that a lot of people need to hear! I really enjoyed reading this post, so thank you for sharing x
I think about what I would write/tell myself all the time. In reality, it would be a lot kinder than what I know I was telling myself back then.
Out of curiosity – where would you have studied if you had gone abroad?
I would have gone to France. I have family in Belgium that I would have had the opportunity to visit — in some cases it would have been for the last time.