Ah, weddings. A celebration of love and commitment, dedicating yourself to a future with another person, and making sure that everyone and their brother is there to witness it.
Detecting some sarcasm? Yeah. Weddings aren’t really my thing, but hear me out:
The wedding industry in America has become crazy. The average wedding costs $30,000.
$30,000!!
Can you believe that? All to document and celebrate one day. ONE DAY!!
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Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of factors that go into a traditional wedding ceremony. And yes, some of them are worth footing the bill to not have to micromanage. There are photographers, DJs, invites, save the dates, food, dress/tux, wedding party, flowers, shoes, venue, not to mention the rehearsal and gift opening.
I’m feeling overwhelmed just recollecting all of it.
But there are a number of ways that you can save on a wedding. We used several and the sacrifice was minimal — in fact, some were advantageous! Frankly, we preferred to spend our money on our honeymoon and our house than our wedding. So we just tried to view it as a big party with a few extras. I’m also a bit of a Grinch when it comes to weddings. The whole industry blows my mind when it comes to consumption, so taking a few things off the list from the get-go wasn’t a big deal.
1) Save the Dates and Invites
I don’t know about you, but if someone I care about is engaged, I know it. And if I know them well enough to be invited, I already know when the wedding is. So why on earth would I spend my time and money on save the dates? If they’re gonna come, they’ll find out when the wedding is before making plans that might conflict.
For invites, consider doing Evites instead. Some sites have free options or they can at least cost substantially less. People are also able to RSVP immediately, so it’s a lot more convenient than sending back a card. My mom threw a hullabaloo over it, but we had RSVPs within minutes of sending them out (even from their friends). (And yes, we still sent a handful of paper invites to those who didn’t have email — like my parents’ 100 year old neighbor.)
2) Dress/Tux
This is one place where I did not skimp. I saw the dress of my dreams in a window and had it paid for before I was even engaged. It was like $600, which is pretty small in the realm of wedding dresses. That said, there are a number of good, affordable options, namely secondhand via Facebook marketplace, eBay, and consignment shops. Tailoring is a fairly small expense when comparing to purchasing new — although I can totally understand not wanting to invest in secondhand in case it carries bad juju.
My shoes I picked up at Payless, knowing that I would probably ditch them after a couple of hours anyway.
My husband ended up buying two suits on a buy one get one at Men’s Wearhouse for a total of about $350. His tie had simple pin dots and he still wears it regularly, and I think he reused shoes that he had purchased when he was in a wedding the year prior.
3) Flowers
There are a few different ways you can save on flowers. If you get married in the summer season, go to a farmers market and buy your flowers or even grow your own! We, however, were married in a snowy May (ugh, Wisconsin!), so we ended up having to buy ours from a garden store.
Fortunately, our total bill still came to less than $100. Here’s how: we didn’t have a wedding party.
Let me say that again:
We didn’t have a wedding party.
4) Ditch the idea of a wedding party
I know that that may sound crazy or unrealistic, but truly it was one of the biggest ways to save money. Not only did it save money on flowers (bridesmaid bouquets and boutonnières are spendy!), but we also didn’t have to spend on bridal party gifts or food for rehearsals or the gift opening.
This decision was beneficial in other ways, too:
We also didn’t have to deal with coordinating a group of people — we could focus on US on our big day.
We didn’t have to solve the dilemma of number of attendees (I wanted two, my husband felt he should ask everyone whose wedding he’d ever been in — or about six).
And I didn’t have the guilt of making our friends spend on dresses/suits/accessories that they would never wear again.
Okay, that was a tangent. Long story short: skip the wedding party. Onto the next.
5) Food
You could make a case that you want good food at your wedding, but is it really worth it? A meal for the average wedding is something like $30 a plate. That’s crazy! Multiply that by your number of guests and cha-ching! Are you going to recoup that in cash wedding gifts? Maybe, maybe not. We wouldn’t have. And does anyone really care? No.
Instead we opted for a buffet. The item was originally proposed at around $15 a head, but after some negotiation, we landed at $12. The original proposal included noodles, alfredo and marinara sauce, meatballs, and chicken parmesan + salad. We asked for a price reduction if we dropped the chicken parmesan and instead offered broccoli and meatballs only with the sauce and noodles.
Was it amazing? No. But it certainly wasn’t the worst wedding food I’ve ever had. And it was vegetarian/vegan friendly, so everyone had something to eat.
Bottom line: Various forms of meat and/or multiple meal options are NOT necessary.
(We also looked at appetizers only, but the cost was about the same and the meal wouldn’t have been as cohesive.)
Another option that I considered was having our besties supply the food. As I said, we didn’t have a wedding party, but our friends all wanted to help somehow. If we had had our festivities at a venue that didn’t require food licensing, I would have loved to have had them each make a bucket of food or provide a dessert (eliminating cake costs).
6) Cake
Aren’t wedding cakes pretty?
Yes. But they’re also exorbitantly priced to recoup the cost of decorating.
So here’s the cost cut: Sheet cake.
Just like the food, no one cares about what your cake looks like (or even really tastes like). Instead of ordering a multi-level, fondant-covered chunk of change, just order sheet cake.
Still want the pretty cake for pictures? Order a small one and get the rest of it in sheets. There’ll be plenty of cake for everyone, you can still get the photos of you feeding each other, and you’ll save hundreds.
7) Photography
If you’re a photographer, forgive me for saying this, but spending thousands on photos of one day is crazy. We really lucked out and hired a new/amateur photographer for way too little. We were her first wedding and she did a great job! My only regret is that I wish we would have made a list of all the photos we wanted.
Know an amateur photographer or have a friend who’s great with a camera? Ask them to shoot the photos for you. Most of those photos are just going to end up in a book anyway.
8) Favors
I’m sure that there are 9 million ideas on Pinterest for DIY wedding favors, but here’s a thought — no one will miss them if they’re not there. Seriously, just skip them…. unless they’re part of a DIY centerpiece.
9) Centerpieces
This was one of my biggest sticker shocks — a venue was going to charge us $12 to rent (yes, rent) centerpieces from them.
No.
I really want to tell you to skip them, but centerpieces add the ambience, so (in my opinion) they’re a bit of a must-have. Fortunately, tea lights and thrift store vases can go a long way. The dollar store also has a fair number of crafty things to make something simple and beautiful.
My biggest tip is just to not worry about everything perfectly matching from one table to the next and don’t stress over it — they’re just centerpieces. Bonus: You may be able to resell them after your big day to recoup some of the expense.
10) Music
Make a playlist and recruit an outgoing friend or family member to run the dollar dance. Do you really need someone to narrate your night? No.
11) Venue and Date
They say if you’re married in June, you’ll always be a bride, but venues come at a premium during wedding season. Ask about discounts for off-season weddings. Unless you’re insistent that it be outdoors, the discount may be worth the compromise.
12) Hairpiece
I looked for a hairpiece that would go perfectly with my dress, but I never found it. I considered alternatives, but nothing really fit the bill, so I made my own for less than $10! Learn how here.
Did I miss anything? Where did you cut costs on your wedding? I’d love to hear about them. Tell me in the comments below!
(And again, if you’re a photographer, my apologies for the comments above.) 🙂
— Funky Crunchy Mama
